Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Metal musicians that bitch about money can GTFO.

Recently, guitarist Daniel Dlimi of 3rd tier Swedish death metal band Aeon announced his departure from the band and from "professional music", basically blaming it on the fact he couldn't make money doing it; lamenting that over the course of several tours the band lost money and that record sales were terrible.

To which, I ask "what the fuck did you expect, man?"  

Totally destined for the cover of "Entertainment Weekly"
The sort of musicians who become rich and famous are the fashionable types who produce syrupy sweet easily digested pop music. If you're into that sort of thing, cool. Whatever.  Have fun with it.  But Daniel Dlimi signed up to play in a fucking death metal band.  Your vocalist growls lyrics such as these:

"Preacher fake healer false prophet you must die 
I would love to see you nailed to a cross
Like your pathetic little god Jesus Christ
Lies you preach to your brain dead congregation
Take them with you and die"

(from the song "I Wish You Death" from their most recent album, "Aeons Black")

 Fucking hello, that's not a recipe for commercial success.

This probably isn't in your future if you play in a death metal band.

That's not to say that I didn't enjoy Aeon's music; because I have for the most part.  But there's a small audience of people like myself who are into this kind of music, and most of us aren't able to buy every single new album by every single band that comes out on a weekly basis so we can subsidize your fucking rock n roll fantasy.  If I have to download it until I can find the time and cash to drive 30 fucking miles to the nearest independent record store that might have it on the shelf...shouldn't you just be glad I'm at least jamming on your tunes and encouraging others to do the same?

(Seriously, Aeon is a really solid band, and you should listen to the song above and I'd tell you to go to their website and buy some merch and CDs directly from them...except they don't fucking have any!

What I'm trying to get at isn't "hey everyone steal the album online so you can listen to it 3 times and then totally forget about it amongst the flood of other bands whose albums leak on an hourly basis" but that if making money is part of your equation in forming a death metal band, you're already doing it for the wrong reasons.  The entire business model that people have deluded themselves into following is absurd.  I mean, does it make sense to leave your job that you need so you can pay rent so you can get into a crappy, doomed to break down van with 12 other dudes and instruments, living on a per diem of ramen noodles and malt liquor, and fly across the ocean so you can tour 28 US cities; playing most of those shows on weekdays when working people can't actually even make it out to them?

- Side rant: I don't think most bands, American or European, realize what an undertaking it is for many fans to even go to a show.  Prior to my relocation to a major metropolitan area, going to a concert meant pleading with my job to get a day off or at least off from work early/come in late the next day, after which I had to beg and conjole a friend into doing the same thing so that I wouldn't fall asleep on the ride home after driving between 2 and 3 hours to the nearest date on the tour that *totally fucking awesome headliner band* was playing...assuming that after driving across creation to "the city" wasn't in vain because the club owner decided (while I was in route to the venue) to cancel the show because of poor ticket pre-sales (meaning, the 6 shitty high school bands the promoter put on the lineup in exchange for pay-to-play and selling tickets didn't work out.)  After arriving at said show, and spending money I didn't really have on merch and watered down beer, I hope to have gas money and spare change for some gas station food and that the mildly grumpy friend (who isn't even as into extreme metal as I am) won't pass out in the passenger seat as I drive under the moonlight across miles upon miles of cow fields trying to beat the sunrise home.  I easily did that over 100 times before I moved, and I know of people who still do it.  So dudes in bands need to stop bitching; most of your fans go through hell just to show up at that half-empty club on a Wednesday night. /end rant

This shit gets old when you're 70 miles from home and you've been up 23 hours already.

It's just dumb on the part of the bands to try to do things in this manner.  I've long advocated fewer of these long tours and more weekend festivals and short regional tours.  Brutality and Skinless playing at the Delaware Deathfest this past weekend?  That was a big deal, and I wish I could've been there.  Because its not likely you'll see either of those bands on a cross-country tour again. Basically, if all bands did things the Pig Destroyer way, nobody would be complaining about money so much.  

Or if you're going to insist on doing it the way the labels and club promoters have set it up for the last several years, at least embrace it and have a sense of humour about it, like Fuck The Facts bassplayer Marc Bourgon.