Friday, August 9, 2013

Another rant (LOL Varg!)

So I come home from work, retrieve a cold beer from the sacred beer fridge (which must never be profaned by anything other than beer, other alcoholic beverages, and beverages that can be mixed with alcohol...) and out of habit more than anything, I scour the headlines of

At one time, probably around 2002 or so (?) was a daily source of news regarding heavy metal music, its assorted subgenres, and events relative to it.  Being the complete asshole I am, I vividly recall hitting refresh on my browser hoping to see a new body count of the fire at a Great White Concert, which was frequently updated on the site (over 100 hair spray hags and mullets died that day!)  Long since, Blabbermouth has deteriorated into the metal equivalent of the National Enquirer or TMZ, obsessed over the latest batshit insane quotes by Dave Mustaine or the never-ending retarded drama between Geoff Tate and QueensrycheBlabbermouth has long been surpassed by wittier, more interesting websites who offer better reviews, but I think as a mere matter of habit I find myself checking the site 2 or 3 times a week alongside Metalsucks, Lambgoat, AngryMetalGuy, etc.

I think Varg gets photoshopped almost as much as the guys in Immortal.

Anyhow, if we're going to have a metal tabloid, could it possibly be complete without good ole Varg Vikernes?  Convicted murderer, unrepentant racist, and totally lousy musician?  Most famous for being a member of Mayhem long enough to have a cup of coffee and kill Euronymous, Varg seems to love attention and the spotlight.  He's also not a particularly bright fellow; for all of his longwinded ramblings about European identity and what nationalism means to him, etc...which you can read in it's brutally non-comprehendable nature here (seriously, did he learn to write by reading Mein Kampf?  Talk about fucking long-winded...), he doesn't seem to grasp that when he, or his wife, buy guns that based on his past history of violence and controversial statements that legal authorities in any jurisdiction might be concerned.

Well, the fun part is that after Varg's recent hijinks and legal issues, Blabbermouth has informed us that he has decided to "crowdsource" a legal defense so he can sue those mean French bastards that busted into his house while he was wearing his orange underpants (his words, not mine.)  I guess crowdsourcing would be appealing; after all Obituary is running quite the successful Kickstarter campaign to record a new album.  But if I know anything about fans of Varg, I know that they all seem to be basically broke-asses, and their unfortunate broke-ass-ness seems to be what drives their "anger" towards everything else which in turn draws them into NSBM and the philosophies that associate with it (feel free to disprove me.)  

I'm curious to see how many people cough up any spare change so Varg and family can sue those mean frog police; I'll be particularly interested in seeing how many people from non-European backgrounds donate to his cause.  It's not like Varg has had anything nice to say about cultures and ethnic backgrounds that aren't North-European....

This ironic fellow is probably not welcome in Varg's home...

Gotta say, I think throwing your change to Obituary to do that proper Morrisound Documentary is more worthwhile.  Just my thoughts.

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